For a cool friend

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I have no idea from where to start or to end to write.

Same goes for my life, don’t know where it started, to which point it has reached and how will end. 

Life was sorted when we were child, right? Fixed routine, perfect mental health, proper guidance in every step and there existed the reason for living.

But now, everything is changed. I don’t know where I got lost on. I keep on searching myself. I don’t know what actually is going on my life. Everywhere I see the unanswered the questions and keep on asking myself those questions but they still remain unanswered. Never had imagined, adulthood was this difficult. Everything is like a maze, exact opposite of what I  had imagined. It may seem perfect for the people seeing me from outside but as the saying ‘you should walk on their shoes before you know their journey’ my journey is being little bit difficult for me. Sometimes, I feel I am lagged behind somewhere in the darkness searching for the light but still have no idea till when I will be encaptivated in this dilemma. 

It’s not like I m being pessimistic by asking all these questions to myself. I am the optimistic one among my friends although there are lots of reasons for being sad. I try to be charm, calm and handle everything easily. Try to fix the routine, manage time for everything( study and job), enjoy the life, talk and spend time with friends. But, it’s not easy, right? I manage to do everything except study I guess. Although I think like I am studying but during exams I am not able get the success I always want. 

Everyone says it’s okay it’s not easy to pass CA but studying the same thing for many times and giving same exam sucks. Yeah, it hurts to know that friend passed but I didn’t but that doesn’t mean I am not happy for my friends. Seeing them I inspire myself for passing. These things really  make me to think alot, disturb my mental health. But I try to be chill and divert my mind from thinking such things in the same way I divert my writing. Try to improve myself, turn myself into better me but I keep on failing. People say failure is the pillar of success but I am still searching for the pillar built inside me. I try to stay positive and I do success most of the time but sometimes I just want to burst myself into tears, scream out loud and share with someone what I am actually going through. I know I have the habit of not sharing things with people, I keep things on myself but I don’t know upto when I will be able to handle this pain. 

But, let’s not worry. Hehe cool dude!😎

I will definitely but not immediately.



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